At work, on my floor, there is a bathroom. This bathroom is all the way at the (opposite) end of the hall, and despite having luxurious soaps, only has two stalls. Now our building tries to be energy efficient. This means that if no one is using a room the lights are off. This applies to bathrooms. This is not an embarrassing story, but it is about my greatest fear. The point of saying that there are only two stalls shows the infrequency that this lavatory is in use. Rarely is there more than one person in there, but should someone else have the urge, there is no line and no awkward waiting for that single user to finish. However, since this is not a large room and rarely are there two people letting nature take its course at the same time, it has become muscle memory that I turn the light off when leaving the throne room. Now surely you all are wondering what my greatest office fear is that so clearly involves the bathroom. Well, here it is:
What if I turn the lights off on someone (by accident) while they are still on the throne?
The John is a sacred place, and similar to fight club, no one talks about fight club. This does not discourage small children from disclosing their secrets to their parents, but your bowel movements are not generally something you post to your Facebook page or something that gets you the most retweets (no need to prove me wrong as a social experiment). But what if- WHAT IF- I walk in, and walk out while someone is using the loo and SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF?
Do I apologize, flip the switch and run away (they could track me down later using the 50 different cameras on the way back to my office in the Hall of Presidents)? Do I calmly act like the incident didn’t occur and flip it back? What if the recipient to my blunder later recognizes me by my shoes?!
WHAT DO I DO IF IT HAPPENS TO ME?!
Should I shout indignantly and hope no one stays around to find out that it was ME that was just sent to the depths of my dark tomb labeled ‘EM-BARE-ASS-MENT’? Do I sit in silence upon the throne until my work is done? Do I carry night goggles with me at all times?